LOL! Unfortunately, I've had this said of me. I tend to be very reserved at first. Sometimes, you have to consider the source of the judgment. :-)
Good point Judy, one must always consider the source of the judgement. :)
Hi Kara,I agree with Judy, I am shy and can be very awkward with new people. In relation to your recent posts, though, I get it. Many times, it's a lot like saying the opposite of what you really mean, or making excuses for someone's narcissism when people say things like this. It fits well for this.But I do think it's situation dependent, or as Judy said, you have to consider the source...I also think that a lot of these humorous little sayings you see on FB can be a bit hostile themselves. Facebook philosophy can be hilarious, but more often than not it's just someone venting. If someone posts a lot of these, I suspect a frustrated, unhappy person. Sarcasm is an angry form of humor. XX00,Kitty
Hi Kitty,That's very interesting that you both brought up about being reserved and shy as being something that people criticise. That is not the case in England, being shy and reserved is the norm. Hugh Grant, anyone? ;) The times when I have heard people say the above was when someone was being mean and horrible and then someone would pipe out: "don't worry, they're ok when you get to know them". Get to know what? Wouldn't that be enough of knowing them? ;)I completely agree with your point of these humorous sayings being a bit hostile. I have noticed that too. You can feel the anger and pain underneath. Kara XXOO
It is interesting how it is different across the pond. I used to get this all the time too. I'm not shy, but I am quiet and reserved when I meet people. I'm not the gregarious type that bounds into a room. I have heard so often, "you are so SWEET. I didn't expect that when I met you." It always made me a bit uncomfortable, because I wondered how I must come off in the beginning. But I figured that if they have a positive position of me in the end, than it is OK!By the way, my NM and my relative who recently attacked me? They both love to post those sorts of quotes.
It's a shame that people make those sort of judgements before they get to know the person better. It's probably not so much about how you come off in the beginning as much as that most people can't be bothered to make the effort it takes to know someone else. They rather you just told them everything on the first day so they don't have to think for themselves. Maybe that's why people always love Ns when they first meet them, because they are all over the person and tell them everything about themselves so the person feels this sense of being "privileged" to their inner person, when in reality they've just walked into a trap :P
Yes, fascinating that being reserved is not considered a personality fault in England (is this true for all of Europe as well, I wonder?) In the U.S., if you're not loud, boisterous, and outgoing, you're likely to get put on medication. I'm only half kidding! But yes, with respect to someone being mean and horrible, and someone else making an excuse for that inexcusable behavior, this sentiment fits perfectly. XX00
"In the U.S., if you're not loud, boisterous, and outgoing, you're likely to get put on medication." Hahaha I hadn't realised it was that bad. There are a lot of differences in how shyness is viewed in different European countries. I'll write a post about that next. XXOO