"It is commonly suggested that sleight of hand works because "the hand is quicker than the eye" but this is usually not the case. In addition to manual dexterity, sleight of hand depends on the use of psychology, timing, misdirection, and natural choreography in accomplishing a magical effect. Misdirection is perhaps the most important component of the art of sleight of hand. Misdirection is a form of deception in which the attention of an audience is focused on one thing in order to distract its attention from another. The magician choreographs his actions so that all spectators are likely to look where he or she wants them to. More importantly, they do not look where the performer does not wish them to look. Two types of misdirection are timing and movement. Timing is simple: by allowing a small amount of time to pass after an action, events are skewed in the viewer's mind. Movement is a little more complicated. A phrase often used is "A larger action covers a smaller action.Care must be taken however to not make the larger action so big that it becomes suspect."(from the wikipedia article)
This is one of the biggest tricks up the sleeve of a Narcissist. My sister performed one years ago and it took three months for the penny to drop for me to be able to see what she had done. One of our friends and also both my husband and I had noticed that one of my niece's friends was being emotionally abusive to her. We all decided to bring up our concerns to my sister. We were all sitting round the kitchen table when we -gently- mentioned it. My sister jumped of the chair - like those toys in a box with a spring inside- while she said in an indignant voice: "but Sandra (my niece's friend's mother) is the only one that helps me!" and then run out of the room. Talk about a dramatic performance. And what a way to throw the real issue off the table.
And that, my friends, it's how it's done. .