I'm reading "Anna Karenina" (I shamefully confess that it's the abridged version) and last night I came across a phrase that jumped off the page at me:
"not having expressed the one thing that occupied their thoughts, whatever they said rang false."
and on the next page:
"therefore Constantine (Levin) tried to do what all his life he had tried and never known how to do: he tried to say something different from what he thought; and felt all the time that it sounded false"
That's it, isn't it? Not being able to express the truth about how you feel makes everything else sound false. That is exactly how I feel when I talk with my FOO. Who would have known that Mr. Tolstoy had observed this same problem as far back as 1877.
I'm going to be reading this soon! Before the movie comes out, anyway (not that I'll bother to pay to see it, but just in case!).
ReplyDeleteRussian Literature is really cool. Dark, but cool! :-)
I think you'll like it, the descriptions of people are very interesting. I'm not sure about the movie, the choice of cast is pretty dire though it might be worth watching for the costumes.
DeleteI think narcissism isn't new, so much as we are finally calling it what it is. Yes, it is amazing to see Tolstoy put it so clearly. It's such a relief to finally not need to double check everything I say to make sure it's what I think instead of what I think others want me to say.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. I think it's amazing to read someone else's words saying what you're thinking.
DeleteHI Kara,
ReplyDeleteI read Anna Karenina years ago and although I don't remember much of it, I do remember really loving it. And I remember the first sentence of the book clearly. It jumped out at me the way these passages did to you. I think the greatest literature addresses problems of the human condition, and "unhappy families" is certainly one of the most basic. I'm glad to live in a time where a woman can break free of her unhappy family and seek her own happiness. Poor Anna couldn't really do that.
Kitty
Ah yes, the first sentence "All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." I googled this sentence and there was a question in Yahoo answers where the person asked "Can someone please tell me what this means .. in everyday life so to speak? :P " I thought: "quite clearly you don't come from an unhappy family, if you have to ask". Any ACoN reading that would instantly know what the author means.
DeleteI think what was saddest about Anna's story is that she submitted to what the two men in her life wanted; first, Karenin then Vronsky -and although Vronsky really did love her- neither situation led to her happiness, but to double binds in both cases. No wonder she ends like she does. I believe most suicides happen because of double binds.
lol-Before I got to your thought on this person's question, I had the exact same thought! I literally laughed out loud. So true. What's really sad is that a lot of people who don't get it are in denial. I can't tell you the number of people over the years who've said things like, "I had a great childhood" while they're dealing with depression, addiction, abusive relationships, etc. It may not feel like it, but we are some of the lucky ones.
DeleteYou've got me wanting to read that book again. The Kindle version is probably free, maybe I'll get it.
Interesting thought about suicide. Double binds...another feature of the dysfunctional family.
Kitty
Hi Kitty,
DeleteYes, I have started noticing how many people are in denial. Yes, we are the lucky ones because at least we know where the problem is. It kind of ties in with your post about maps: if you're lost and don't know where you are it's going to be harder to find your way out. But if you know where you are and you have a map, you'll get there eventually.
I got the (unabridged) version on ibooks for free so I assume the kindle version would be free too :)
Kara x
Kind of OT but do you know about the Gutenberg project? Every book more than 100 years old has no more copyright laws, so it's made available for free. If you have an eReader device, you can download just about any old book for free--so DON'T go to Barnes and Noble and pay for them! I downloaded James Joyce (haven't been able to get through Portrait of An Artist As a Young Man, could anyone tell me why that is one of the greatest novels ever written?) and Jane Austen is going to be my next "classics" reading project. (Looking forward to that one.) Anyway, it's a great way to introduce yourself to literature and philosophy (haven't been able to get through Nietzsche, either, but I keep taking stabs at it now and then.)
DeleteKitty
I had heard about the Gutenberg project but didn't know that you could download them to an eReader, thanks for the tip :) I don't get the James Joyce thing either :P I did study Nietzsche when I was 17 but it was a little over my head, we also had to read Immanuel Kant which was quite hard too. Jane Austen is very witty, I think you'll like her.
DeleteThat is so true! I often feel like we talked about 'nothing'. Then I would stay but how can families talk about nothing when we are talking to each others. That quote sums it up. Are you liking the book? Haven't read it. xxoo T Reddy
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm really liking the book. I love Tolstoy's observations about human nature, they're fascinating.
DeleteKara xxoo
I'm putting it on the list to read! x T
DeleteHi guys, I went through a Russian lit binge in college; I remember reading Anna Karenina and not being able to put it down. Same thing with War and Peace, after I soldiered through the first 200pp, which you need to do just to figure out who's who and how they're connected. Once you're over that hump, the book is an amazing entire world. I hated finishing it because I'd immersed myself in that world for over a month, and felt like I'd miss the characters. Great lit does that. It's work but SO worth the rewards. Tolstoy is a great observer of human nature, and he always observes without excessive judgement, and with compassion. Time to dig my copy of AK back out.
ReplyDeleteThanks CS, I'm starting War and Peace in the new year and your tip about why the length of the set up is necessary will be very handy.
DeleteHi Kara, yeah--I suffered through those first two hundred pages. They turn most people away. But Tolstoy is setting up an entire world in those "opening" pages, one you'll need to know about to fully enjoy the novel. Once you're over that hump, though, you won't be able to put it down. I couldn't wait to get off work back then to go back into his world. It was so profound, so much growth happens in those characters lives and in the world they're living in. It's such a profoundly beautiful novel, along the way, and by the end, that I truly hated to finish it and come back to my own reality. There's a reason great literature is great. You have to give yourself over to it (unlike a beach book, which is also fun too). If you want really dysfunctional family Russian lit, try Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov, after War and Peace. Good times! Actually another really absorbing novel that's lighter lifting but really spoke to me was Edith Wharton's House of Mirth.
DeleteHi CS, I can see myself not being able to put it down too and considering the size that would not be a good thing ;) I'm going to have to pace myself... I had thought of adding Brothers Karamazov to my list too so thanks for the recommendation. I've seen the film version of "House of Mirth" and was fascinated by it. I've also been meaning to read the book for some time. Last year I read "The Age of Innocence" and really liked it, though the character of Newland Archer irritated me no end...
DeleteNewland Archer is a sniveling society-image obsessed snit. So there. The book House of Mirth is much better than the movie. Gillian Anderson as Lilly Bart? didn't work for me. Like Keira Knightly as Anna Karenina? don't know if I can go there.
DeleteFunnily enough even though I had not read "House of Mirth" when I watched the film I could still tell that she didn't quite fit the character. The choice of cast for the new Anna Karenina is pretty dismal, not that the previous version was any better: Sean Bean as Vronsky? Honestly....
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