Serendipity...

After having written about aunts on my other blog, today I bumped into this excerpt while reading "War and Peace". Looks like, once again, Tolstoy was there before me...

"Everyone had to go through the same ceremony of greeting this old aunt whom not one of them knew or wanted to know or was interested in, while Anna Pavlovna in pensive silence solemnly observed and approved the exchange of formalities. Ma tante repeated the same words to each, asking after the visitor's health and reporting on her own and on that of her Majesty, 'who was better today, thank God'. Politely trying to betray no undue haste, her victims made their escape with a sense of relief at having performed a tiresome duty, and took care not to go near her again for the rest of the evening."

Narc Slayer

My friend CZBZ from The Narcissism Continuum very kindly nominated me for The Narcissistic Slayer Award.
What does it mean to be a Narc Slayer? For me, it's about "slaying" the power Ns have (had) over me, by not JADEing, or allowing myself to be manipulated by them. By saying NO. It's about doing what I want to do and saying what I want to say. It also means to "slay" my own Narcissism by not "feeding" my ego. It is indeed, a two way thing, because it's so easy to spot it in others, not so easy to see in oneself.

The rules for this award are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them.

2. Put the award’s logo on your blog.

3. Write a blog post and share the blog(s) you have chosen- there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required.

4.  Inform your nominees on their site.

5.  Share one positive thing that you took away from your relationship with a Narcissist.

Thank you CZ for nominating me for this award, and for your generosity in sharing the knowledge and experience that you have. It has been invaluable in my progress. 

I'd like to nominate the following blogs:

http://lifebegins45.wordpress.com/

http://scatharisingfromashes.blogspot.co.uk/

What I took away from my relationship with Narcissists, is finding that I had an inner strength and integrity I didn't know I had. Like the famous saying: "What doesn't kill you makes stronger", and in the case of having had to deal with Narcissists, "if it doesn't kill you, it will make you manipulation-free." I still remember a day in the aftermath, when the realisation dawned on me that the Narcissists I knew had, unwittingly, done me a favour. Once I had been subject to the whole range of their tricks, and once I was able to see them for what they were, I became "immune" to them. And being immune to manipulation, though having been learned in a very painful way, it's truly a gift.

When I started writing in 2012 I didn't expect that anyone would read my blog, let alone that I would get an award. I didn't imagine either, that I would have been able to do the things I have accomplished during this time. Like holding my own with people like "El Zorro" without batting an eyelid, or being able to visit my FOO without being sucked up in their "merry-go-round"; but I do not take credit for this just for myself, these feats would not have been possible without the support I've had from you guys. So a big THANK YOU to you too. It's amazing what you can do when you feel backed up.